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Vincent Millay and social host Mabel Dodge were known for their affairs with women and promotion of tolerance of homosexuality.

The existence of a public space for women to socialize in bars that were known to cater to lesbians "became the single most important public manifestation of the subculture for many decades", according to historian Lillian Faderman.

The primary component necessary to encourage lesbians to be public and seek other women was economic independence, which virtually disappeared in the s with the Great Depression.

Most women in the U. Independent women in the s were generally seen as holding jobs that men should have. The social attitude made very small and close-knit communities in large cities that centered around bars, while simultaneously isolating women in other locales.

Speaking of homosexuality in any context was socially forbidden, and women rarely discussed lesbianism even amongst themselves; they referred to openly gay people as "in the Life".

Homosexual subculture disappeared in Germany with the rise of the Nazis in The onset of World War II caused a massive upheaval in people's lives as military mobilization engaged millions of men.

Women were also accepted into the military in the U. Unlike processes to screen out male homosexuals, which had been in place since the creation of the American military, there were no methods to identify or screen for lesbians; they were put into place gradually during World War II.

Despite common attitudes regarding women's traditional roles in the s, independent and masculine women were directly recruited by the military in the s, and frailty discouraged.

Some women were able to arrive at the recruiting station in a man's suit, deny ever having been in love with another woman, and be easily inducted.

As women found each other, they formed into tight groups on base, socialized at service clubs, and began to use code words.

The most masculine women were not necessarily common, though they were visible so they tended to attract women interested in finding other lesbians.

Women had to broach the subject about their interest in other women carefully, sometimes taking days to develop a common understanding without asking or stating anything outright.

The increased mobility, sophistication, and independence of many women during and after the war made it possible for women to live without husbands, something that would not have been feasible under different economic and social circumstances, further shaping lesbian networks and environments.

Lesbians were not included under Paragraph , a German statute which made homosexual acts between males a crime.

The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum stipulates that this is because women were seen as subordinate to men, and that the Nazi state feared lesbians less than gay men.

However, the USHMM also claims that many women were arrested and imprisoned for "asocial" behaviour, a label which was applied to women who did not conform to the ideal Nazi image of a woman: cooking, cleaning, kitchen work, child raising, and passivity.

These women were labeled with a black triangle. Many lesbians also reclaimed the pink triangle. Following World War II, a nationwide movement pressed to return to pre-war society as quickly as possible in the U.

Homosexuals were thought to be vulnerable targets to blackmail , and the government purged its employment ranks of open homosexuals, beginning a widespread effort to gather intelligence about employees' private lives.

The U. Attitudes and practices to ferret out homosexuals in public service positions extended to Australia [] and Canada. Very little information was available about homosexuality beyond medical and psychiatric texts.

Community meeting places consisted of bars that were commonly raided by police once a month on average, with those arrested exposed in newspapers.

In response, eight women in San Francisco met in their living rooms in to socialize and have a safe place to dance. When they decided to make it a regular meeting, they became the first organization for lesbians in the U.

Inside the front cover of every issue was their mission statement, the first of which stated was "Education of the variant".

It was intended to provide women with knowledge about homosexuality—specifically relating to women and famous lesbians in history.

However, by , the term "lesbian" had such a negative meaning that the DOB refused to use it as a descriptor, choosing "variant" instead.

The DOB spread to Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles, and The Ladder was mailed to hundreds—eventually thousands—of DOB members discussing the nature of homosexuality, sometimes challenging the idea that it was a sickness, with readers offering their own reasons why they were lesbians and suggesting ways to cope with the condition or society's response to it.

As a reflection of categories of sexuality so sharply defined by the government and society at large, lesbian subculture developed extremely rigid gender roles between women, particularly among the working class in the U.

Although many municipalities had enacted laws against cross-dressing, some women would socialize in bars as butches : dressed in men's clothing and mirroring traditional masculine behavior.

Others wore traditionally feminine clothing and assumed a more diminutive role as femmes. Butch and femme modes of socialization were so integral within lesbian bars that women who refused to choose between the two would be ignored, or at least unable to date anyone, and butch women becoming romantically involved with other butch women or femmes with other femmes was unacceptable.

Butch women were not a novelty in the s; even in Harlem and Greenwich Village in the s some women assumed these personae. Many wealthier women married to satisfy their familial obligations, and others escaped to Europe to live as expatriates.

Regardless of the lack of information about homosexuality in scholarly texts, another forum for learning about lesbianism was growing.

A paperback book titled Women's Barracks describing a woman's experiences in the Free French Forces was published in It told of a lesbian relationship the author had witnessed.

After 4. Gold Medal Books was overwhelmed with mail from women writing about the subject matter, and followed with more books, creating the genre of lesbian pulp fiction.

Between and over 2, books were published using lesbianism as a topic, and they were sold in corner drugstores, train stations, bus stops, and newsstands all over the U.

Most were written by, and almost all were marketed to heterosexual men. Coded words and images were used on the covers. Instead of "lesbian", terms such as "strange", "twilight", "queer", and "third sex", were used in the titles, and cover art was invariably salacious.

Bannon, who also purchased lesbian pulp fiction, later stated that women identified the material iconically by the cover art. As a result, pulp fiction helped to proliferate a lesbian identity simultaneously to lesbians and heterosexual readers.

The social rigidity of the s and early s encountered a backlash as social movements to improve the standing of African Americans, the poor, women, and gays all became prominent.

Of the latter two, the gay rights movement and the feminist movement connected after a violent confrontation occurred in New York City in the Stonewall riots.

The sexual revolution in the s introduced the differentiation between identity and sexual behavior for women. Many women took advantage of their new social freedom to try new experiences.

Women who previously identified as heterosexual tried sex with women, though many maintained their heterosexual identity. A militant feminist organization named Radicalesbians published a manifesto in entitled " The Woman-Identified Woman " that declared "A lesbian is the rage of all women condensed to the point of explosion".

Militant feminists expressed their disdain with an inherently sexist and patriarchal society, and concluded the most effective way to overcome sexism and attain the equality of women would be to deny men any power or pleasure from women.

For women who subscribed to this philosophy—dubbing themselves lesbian-feminists —lesbian was a term chosen by women to describe any woman who dedicated her approach to social interaction and political motivation to the welfare of women.

Sexual desire was not the defining characteristic of a lesbian-feminist, but rather her focus on politics. Independence from men as oppressors was a central tenet of lesbian-feminism, and many believers strove to separate themselves physically and economically from traditional male-centered culture.

In the ideal society, named Lesbian Nation, "woman" and "lesbian" were interchangeable. Although lesbian-feminism was a significant shift, not all lesbians agreed with it.

Lesbian-feminism was a youth-oriented movement: its members were primarily college educated, with experience in New Left and radical causes, but they had not seen any success in persuading radical organizations to take up women's issues.

The Daughters of Bilitis folded in over which direction to focus on: feminism or gay rights issues. As equality was a priority for lesbian-feminists, disparity of roles between men and women or butch and femme were viewed as patriarchal.

Lesbian-feminists eschewed gender role play that had been pervasive in bars, as well as the perceived chauvinism of gay men; many lesbian-feminists refused to work with gay men, or take up their causes.

In , poet and essayist Adrienne Rich expanded upon the political meaning of lesbian by proposing a continuum of lesbian existence based on "woman-identified experience" in her essay " Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence ".

Such a perception of women relating to each other connects them through time and across cultures, and Rich considered heterosexuality a condition forced upon women by men.

Arabic-language historical records have used various terms to describe sexual practices between women. The common term to describe lesbianism in Arabic today is essentially the same term used to describe men, and thus the distinction between male and female homosexuality is to a certain extent linguistically obscured in contemporary queer discourse.

Female homosexual behavior may be present in every culture, although the concept of a lesbian as a woman who pairs exclusively with other women is not.

Attitudes about female homosexual behavior are dependent upon women's roles in each society and each culture's definition of sex. Women in the Middle East have been historically segregated from men.

In the 7th and 8th centuries, some extraordinary women dressed in male attire when gender roles were less strict, but the sexual roles that accompanied European women were not associated with Islamic women.

The Caliphal court in Baghdad featured women who dressed as men, including false facial hair, but they competed with other women for the attentions of men.

According to the 12th century writings of Sharif al-Idrisi , highly intelligent women were more likely to be lesbians; their intellectual prowess put them on a more even par with men.

Women, however, were mostly silent and men likewise rarely wrote about lesbian relationships. It is unclear to historians if the rare instances of lesbianism mentioned in literature are an accurate historical record or intended to serve as fantasies for men.

A treatise about repression in Iran asserted that women were completely silenced: "In the whole of Iranian history, [no woman] has been allowed to speak out for such tendencies To attest to lesbian desires would be an unforgivable crime.

Although the authors of Islamic Homosexualities argued this did not mean women could not engage in lesbian relationships, a lesbian anthropologist in visited Yemen and reported that women in the town she visited were unable to comprehend her romantic relationship to another woman.

Women in Pakistan are expected to marry men; those who do not are ostracized. Women, however, may have intimate relations with other women as long as their wifely duties are met, their private matters are kept quiet, and the woman with whom they are involved is somehow related by family or logical interest to her lover.

Individuals identifying with or otherwise engaging in lesbian practices in the region can face family violence and societal persecution, including what are commonly referred to as " honor killings.

Some Indigenous peoples of the Americas conceptualize a third gender for women who dress as, and fulfill the roles usually filled by, men in their cultures.

In Latin America , lesbian consciousness and associations appeared in the s, increasing while several countries transitioned to or reformed democratic governments.

Harassment and intimidation have been common even in places where homosexuality is legal, and laws against child corruption, morality, or "the good ways" faltas a la moral o las buenas costumbres , have been used to persecute homosexuals.

Six mostly secret organizations concentrating on gay or lesbian issues were founded around this time, but persecution and harassment were continuous and grew worse with the dictatorship of Jorge Rafael Videla in , when all groups were dissolved in the Dirty War.

Lesbian rights groups have gradually formed since to build a cohesive community that works to overcome philosophical differences with heterosexual women.

The Latin American lesbian movement has been the most active in Mexico , but has encountered similar problems in effectiveness and cohesion. While groups try to promote lesbian issues and concerns, they also face misogynistic attitudes from gay men and homophobic views from heterosexual women.

In , Lesbos , the first lesbian organization for Mexicans, was formed. Several incarnations of political groups promoting lesbian issues have evolved; 13 lesbian organizations were active in Mexico City in Ultimately, however, lesbian associations have had little influence both on the homosexual and feminist movements.

The lesbian movement has been closely associated with the feminist movement in Chile, although the relationship has been sometimes strained.

Lesbian consciousness became more visible in Nicaragua in , when the Sandinista National Liberation Front expelled gay men and lesbians from its midst.

State persecution prevented the formation of associations until AIDS became a concern, when educational efforts forced sexual minorities to band together.

The first lesbian organization was Nosotras , founded in The meetings of feminist lesbians of Latin America and the Caribbean, sometimes shortened to "Lesbian meetings", have been an important forum for the exchange of ideas for Latin American lesbians since the late s.

With rotating hosts and biannual gatherings, its main aims are the creation of communication networks, to change the situation of lesbians in Latin America both legally and socially , to increase solidarity between lesbians and to destroy the existing myths about them.

Cross-gender roles and marriage between women has also been recorded in over 30 African societies. The Hausa people of Sudan have a term equivalent to lesbian, kifi , that may also be applied to males to mean "neither party insists on a particular sexual role".

Lesbian relationships are also known in matrilineal societies in Ghana among the Akan people. In Lesotho , females engage in what is commonly considered sexual behavior to the Western world: they kiss, sleep together, rub genitals, participate in cunnilingus , and maintain their relationships with other females vigilantly.

Since the people of Lesotho believe sex requires a penis, however, they do not consider their behavior sexual, nor label themselves lesbians.

In South Africa, lesbians are raped by heterosexual men with a goal of punishment of "abnormal" behavior and reinforcement of societal norms.

Corrective rape is reported to be on the rise in South Africa. The South African nonprofit "Luleki Sizwe" estimates that more than 10 lesbians are raped or gang-raped on a weekly basis.

China before westernization was another society that segregated men from women. Historical Chinese culture has not recognized a concept of sexual orientation, or a framework to divide people based on their same-sex or opposite-sex attractions.

Outside their duties to bear sons to their husbands, women were perceived as having no sexuality at all. This did not mean that women could not pursue sexual relationships with other women, but that such associations could not impose upon women's relationships to men.

Rare references to lesbianism were written by Ying Shao , who identified same-sex relationships between women in imperial courts who behaved as husband and wife as dui shi paired eating.

The liberty of being employed in silk factories starting in allowed some women to style themselves tzu-shu nii never to marry and live in communes with other women.

Other Chinese called them sou-hei self-combers for adopting hairstyles of married women. These communes passed because of the Great Depression and were subsequently discouraged by the communist government for being a relic of feudal China.

In Japan, the term rezubian , a Japanese pronunciation of "lesbian", was used during the s. Westernization brought more independence for women and allowed some Japanese women to wear pants.

In India, a 14th-century Indian text mentioning a lesbian couple who had a child as a result of their lovemaking is an exception to the general silence about female homosexuality.

According to Ruth Vanita , this invisibility disappeared with the release of a film titled Fire in , prompting some theaters in India to be attacked by religious extremists.

Terms used to label homosexuals are often rejected by Indian activists for being the result of imperialist influence, but most discourse on homosexuality centers on men.

Women's rights groups in India continue to debate the legitimacy of including lesbian issues in their platforms, as lesbians and material focusing on female homosexuality are frequently suppressed.

The most extensive early study of female homosexuality was provided by the Institute for Sex Research , who published an in-depth report of the sexual experiences of American women in More than 8, women were interviewed by Alfred Kinsey and the staff of the Institute for Sex Research in a book titled Sexual Behavior in the Human Female , popularly known as part of the Kinsey Report.

The Kinsey Report's dispassionate discussion of homosexuality as a form of human sexual behavior was revolutionary.

Up to this study, only physicians and psychiatrists studied sexual behavior, and almost always the results were interpreted with a moral view.

Single women had the highest prevalence of homosexual activity, followed by women who were widowed, divorced, or separated. The lowest occurrence of sexual activity was among married women; those with previous homosexual experience reported they married to stop homosexual activity.

Most of the women who reported homosexual activity had not experienced it more than ten times. Fifty-one percent of women reporting homosexual experience had only one partner.

Twenty-three years later, in , sexologist Shere Hite published a report on the sexual encounters of 3, women who had responded to questionnaires, under the title The Hite Report.

Hite's questions differed from Kinsey's, focusing more on how women identified, or what they preferred rather than experience. Hite's conclusions are more based on respondents' comments than quantifiable data.

She found it "striking" that many women who had no lesbian experiences indicated they were interested in sex with women, particularly because the question was not asked.

Lesbians in the U. The study attributed the jump to people being more comfortable self-identifying as homosexual to the federal government. The government of the United Kingdom does not ask citizens to define their sexuality.

However, polls in Australia have recorded a range of self-identified lesbian or bisexual women from 1. In terms of medical issues, lesbians are referred to as women who have sex with women WSW because of the misconceptions and assumptions about women's sexuality and some women's hesitancy to disclose their accurate sexual histories even to a physician.

The result of the lack of medical information on WSW is that medical professionals and some lesbians perceive lesbians as having lower risks of acquiring sexually transmitted diseases or types of cancer.

When women do seek medical attention, medical professionals often fail to take a complete medical history. In a study of 2, lesbian and bisexual women, only 9.

Heart disease is listed by the U. Department of Health and Human Services as the number one cause of death for all women. Factors that add to risk of heart disease include obesity and smoking , both of which are more prevalent in lesbians.

Studies show that lesbians have a higher body mass and are generally less concerned about weight issues than heterosexual women, and lesbians consider women with higher body masses to be more attractive than heterosexual women do.

Lesbians are more likely to exercise regularly than heterosexual women, and lesbians do not generally exercise for aesthetic reasons, although heterosexual women do.

Lack of differentiation between homosexual and heterosexual women in medical studies that concentrate on health issues for women skews results for lesbians and non-lesbian women.

Reports are inconclusive about occurrence of breast cancer in lesbians. The risk factors for developing ovarian cancer rates are higher in lesbians than heterosexual women, perhaps because many lesbians lack protective factors of pregnancy, abortion, contraceptives, breast feeding, and miscarriages.

Some sexually transmitted diseases are communicable between women, including human papillomavirus HPV —specifically genital warts — squamous intraepithelial lesions , trichomoniasis , syphilis , and herpes simplex virus HSV.

Transmission of specific sexually transmitted diseases among women who have sex with women depends on the sexual practices women engage in.

Any object that comes in contact with cervical secretions, vaginal mucosa, or menstrual blood, including fingers or penetrative objects may transmit sexually transmitted diseases.

Bacterial vaginosis BV occurs more often in lesbians, but it is unclear if BV is transmitted by sexual contact; it occurs in celibate as well as sexually active women.

The highest rate of transmission of HIV to lesbians is among women who participate in intravenous drug use or have sexual intercourse with bisexual men.

Since medical literature began to describe homosexuality, it has often been approached from a view that sought to find an inherent psychopathology as the root cause, influenced by the theories of Sigmund Freud.

Although he considered bisexuality inherent in all people, and said that most have phases of homosexual attraction or experimentation, exclusive same-sex attraction he attributed to stunted development resulting from trauma or parental conflicts.

Although these issues exist among lesbians, discussion about their causes shifted after homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual in Instead, social ostracism, legal discrimination, internalization of negative stereotypes, and limited support structures indicate factors homosexuals face in Western societies that often adversely affect their mental health.

Women who identify as lesbian report feeling significantly different and isolated during adolescence. Women also limit who they divulge their sexual identities to, and more often see being lesbian as a choice, as opposed to gay men, who work more externally and see being gay as outside their control.

Anxiety disorders and depression are the most common mental health issues for women. Depression is reported among lesbians at a rate similar to heterosexual women, [] although generalized anxiety disorder is more likely to appear among lesbian and bisexual women than heterosexual women.

Studies have shown that heterosexual men and lesbians have different standards for what they consider attractive in women.

Lesbians who view themselves with male standards of female beauty may experience lower self-esteem, eating disorders , and higher incidence of depression.

A population-based study completed by the National Alcohol Research Center found that women who identify as lesbian or bisexual are less likely to abstain from alcohol.

Lesbians and bisexual women have a higher likelihood of reporting problems with alcohol, as well as not being satisfied with treatment for substance abuse programs.

Lesbians portrayed in literature, film, and television often shape contemporary thought about women's sexuality. The majority of media about lesbians is produced by men; [] women's publishing companies did not develop until the s, films about lesbians made by women did not appear until the s, and television shows portraying lesbians written by women only began to be created in the 21st century.

As a result, homosexuality—particularly dealing with women—has been excluded because of symbolic annihilation. When depictions of lesbians began to surface, they were often one-dimensional, simplified stereotypes.

In addition to Sappho's accomplishments, [note 14] literary historian Jeannette Howard Foster includes the Book of Ruth , [] and ancient mythological tradition as examples of lesbianism in classical literature.

Greek stories of the heavens often included a female figure whose virtue and virginity were unspoiled, who pursued more masculine interests, and who was followed by a dedicated group of maidens.

Foster cites Camilla and Diana , Artemis and Callisto , and Iphis and Ianthe as examples of female mythological figures who showed remarkable devotion to each other, or defied gender expectations.

En-hedu-ana , a priestess in Ancient Iraq who dedicated herself to the Sumerian goddess Inanna , has the distinction of signing the oldest-surviving signed poetry in history.

She characterized herself as Inanna's spouse. For ten centuries after the fall of the Roman Empire, lesbianism disappeared from literature.

Physical relationships between women were often encouraged; men felt no threat as they viewed sexual acts between women to be accepted when men were not available, and not comparable to fulfillment that could be achieved by sexual acts between men and women.

Physical and therefore emotional satisfaction was considered impossible without a natural phallus. Male intervention into relationships between women was necessary only when women acted as men and demanded the same social privileges.

Lesbianism became almost exclusive to French literature in the 19th century, based on male fantasy and the desire to shock bourgeois moral values.

Reflecting French society, as well as employing stock character associations, many of the lesbian characters in 19th-century French literature were prostitutes or courtesans: personifications of vice who died early, violent deaths in moral endings.

Gradually, women began to author their own thoughts and literary works about lesbian relationships. Until the publication of The Well of Loneliness , most major works involving lesbianism were penned by men.

Some women, such as Marguerite Yourcenar and Mary Renault , wrote or translated works of fiction that focused on homosexual men, like some of the writings of Carson McCullers.

All three were involved in same-sex relationships, but their primary friendships were with gay men.

As the paperback book came into fashion, lesbian themes were relegated to pulp fiction. Many of the pulp novels typically presented very unhappy women, or relationships that ended tragically.

Marijane Meaker later wrote that she was told to make the relationship end badly in Spring Fire because the publishers were concerned about the books being confiscated by the U.

Postal Service. Following the Stonewall riots , lesbian themes in literature became much more diverse and complex, and shifted the focus of lesbianism from erotica for heterosexual men to works written by and for lesbians.

Serious writers who used lesbian characters and plots included Rita Mae Brown 's Rubyfruit Jungle , which presents a feminist heroine who chooses to be a lesbian.

Further changing values are evident in the writings of Dorothy Allison , who focuses on child sexual abuse and deliberately provocative lesbian sadomasochism themes.

Lesbianism, or the suggestion of it, began early in filmmaking. The same constructs of how lesbians were portrayed—or for what reasons—as what had appeared in literature were placed on women in the films.

Women challenging their feminine roles was a device more easily accepted than men challenging masculine ones. Actresses appeared as men in male roles because of plot devices as early as in A Florida Enchantment featuring Edith Storey.

Hollywood films followed the same trend set by audiences who flocked to Harlem to see edgy shows that suggested bisexuality.

However, the development of the Hays Code in censored most references to homosexuality from film under the umbrella term "sex perversion".

German films depicted homosexuality and were distributed throughout Europe, but 's Mädchen in Uniform was not distributed in the U.

Because of the Hays Code, lesbianism after was absent from most films, even those adapted with overt lesbian characters or plot devices.

Biopic Queen Christina in , starring Greta Garbo , veiled most of the speculation about Christina of Sweden's affairs with women.

The reason censors stated for removing a lesbian scene in 's The Pit of Loneliness was that it was, "Immoral, would tend to corrupt morals".

After MacLaine's character admits her love for Hepburn's, she hangs herself; this set a precedent for miserable endings in films addressing homosexuality.

Gay characters also were often killed off at the end, such as the death of Sandy Dennis ' character at the end of The Fox in If not victims, lesbians were depicted as villains or morally corrupt, such as portrayals of brothel madames by Barbara Stanwyck in Walk on the Wild Side from and Shelley Winters in The Balcony in Lesbians as predators were presented in Rebecca , women's prison films like Caged , or in the character Rosa Klebb in From Russia with Love The first film to address lesbianism with significant depth was The Killing of Sister George in , which was filmed in The Gateways Club , a longstanding lesbian pub in London.

It is the first to claim a film character who identifies as a lesbian, and film historian Vito Russo considers the film a complex treatment of a multifaceted character who is forced into silence about her openness by other lesbians.

Personal Best was criticized for engaging in the cliched plot device of one woman returning to a relationship with a man, implying that lesbianism is a phase, as well as treating the lesbian relationship with "undisguised voyeurism".

An era of independent filmmaking brought different stories, writers, and directors to films. Desert Hearts arrived in , to be one of the most successful.

It received mixed critical commentary, but earned positive reviews from the gay press. In the film, a lesbian actress named Valerie, who was killed in such a manner, serves as inspiration for the masked rebel V and his ally Evey Hammond, who set out to overthrow the dictatorship.

The first stage production to feature a lesbian kiss and open depiction of two women in love is the Yiddish play God of Vengeance Got fun nekome by Sholem Asch.

Rivkele, a young woman, and Manke, a prostitute in her father's brothel, fall in love. On March 6, , during a performance of the play in a New York City theatre, producers and cast were informed that they had been indicted by a Grand Jury for violating the Penal Code that defined the presentation of "an obscene, indecent, immoral and impure theatrical production.

Two months later, they were found guilty in a jury trial. The play is considered by some to be "the greatest drama of the Yiddish theater".

A performance from The Prom was included in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and made history by showing the first same-sex kiss in the parade's broadcast.

Television began to address homosexuality much later than film. Local talk shows in the late s first addressed homosexuality by inviting panels of experts usually not gay themselves to discuss the problems of gay men in society.

Lesbianism was rarely included. Nothing is secret, nothing is hidden, and we'll talk about everything — that will give any child confidence and a good start in life, regardless of whether their parents are gay or straight.

Lara, 41, and Ruth, 45, have been together for 10 years. They have seven-year-old twins, Bell and Isaac, and Ross, who is three and a half, and they live in north London.

LARA: We both wanted the experience of carrying a child, but as Ruth's a little older we decided she would go first.

It was important for us to have known donors, as opposed to an anonymous donor. We found the right man, who we spent time building a relationship with before Ruth got pregnant.

It wasn't something that we treated lightly. He wasn't able to donate to us when I wanted to get pregnant, but luckily a close friend of ours offered to help.

RUTH: We wanted the children to know who these men are. We don't call them a dad — they are a donor — although the word doesn't quite match or fit the role they play in the children's lives.

We see them once every couple of months and the relationships have developed over time. The whole process was quite intense, but we're aware that these fantastic men have helped us out in the most enormous way.

LARA: A tremendous amount of trust, love and respect has built up between us and the donors. Aside from the fact they helped create them, it's great for the children to have male input, along with their grandfathers, uncles and friends.

RUTH: My firm belief is that a child's well-being is down to the quality of parenting. What children need most is unconditional support and love.

I don't think it has anything to do with having two mothers. LARA: We are doing everything we can to equip our children with the right language and attitude to deal with peer pressure — and the main thing is for them to feel like they can talk to us.

Whatever we do, our kids are at the centre of it. RUTH: You'll always come across people who are prejudiced.

What's amazed us is that we're going through it as adults, and it's easy to forget what it's like for a child. Just recently Lara and I have tried to look at prejudiced behaviour from a seven-year-old's point of view and teach them skills to deal with what may come.

LARA: The desire to be as involved as possible in our children's lives is part of the reason Ruth is a governor at the school. We want to be right in there and know what's happening.

Having a close-knit community has been pivotal for us — both at the school, in our local neighbourhood, and with our friends and family.

Laura, 43, and Natalie, 35, have been together for seven years and were married in Belgium in They have two children, Sanne, three, and Quinten, seven months, and live in south London.

I'm from Belgium but had been living in London for some time, and Laura is American. We were introduced by mutual friends and neither of us saw it coming, not least because until I met Laura I had only been in heterosexual relationships.

It was quite the whirlwind romance. She's from a small village in Belgium and gay marriage is recognised over there [as opposed to civil partnership].

I'm from a conservative town in Virginia, so when we told my family we were getting married it took a while for my dad to agree to come — he was expecting protesters waving banners, which wasn't the case at all.

I guess there was a natural element of fear there for us, but they're totally fine with it now, especially since the children arrived — how could you not love your grandchildren?

It felt like a natural progression in our relationship and I thought Natalie would be an amazing mother. It was about finding the process that we felt most comfortable with.

We'd initially considered a friend based in the US, who was happy to help us, but we felt it could over-complicate matters. Sexy teen plays with herself,.

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